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Space Cabbie

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Real Identity: Unknown
Affiliations: Nine-Planet Taxi Company
Appearances: Follow That Space Cab!, All Aboard the Space Train, The Fatal Fare, Booray for Bizarro, and Barehanded
Appearances (Webisodes): Selfie Help, Special Delivery, and Driver's Ed
Powers/Skills: Navigation
Voiced By: Patton Oswalt

Space Cabbie is a loyal employee of the Nine-Planet Taxi Company. He likes to take photos with celebrity clients and keeps them on his overhead driver panel. So far, he had met the likes of Black Canary, Zatanna, Big Barda, Kilowog of the Green Lantern Corps, Blue Beetle, and Firestorm. He also maintains the record of having never lost a passenger. After a 10 hour shift that only yielded one fare between Tamaran and Korugar, Space Cabbie prepared to clock out and drop by Al's Diner and flirt with a waitress named Darlene. Suddenly, Superman crashed through the rear glass into the back seat. Cabbie flipped a switch on the dash and sealed up the cab with replacement glass and produced a new hat. Cabbie was excited to meet Superman but was reeling from a red sun energy blast and needed to get away from bounty hunters Lobo and Jonas. Cabbie started the fare box and hit the gas pedal. Superman had a prisoner with him, Mister Mind, who also had a bounty placed on him by Boss Kack, an intergalactic mobster.

Superman asked for Cabbie's CB radio and sent a message to the Watchtower on Earth requesting back up. Lobo and Jonas offered to cut Cabbie in on the bounty but he stood fast to his company oath. As they pulled their guns, Cabbie hit the brakes and the bounty hunters blasted each other. Lobo threw at Negative Ion Grenade and shorted out the cab's power core. Cabbie was relieved once Hawkman showed up and battled Lobo but Superman suspected a trap. Cabbie took out the jack and brought the cab down to a nearby Abandoned Anthracite Mine. He watched in delight as Superman and Hawkman fought Lobo but realized Mister Mind escaped his prison globe. He sighted Mind inside the dashboard trying to rig the cab to explode. He reached inside but Mind moved a fan in the direction of his hand. Cabbie tried another angle and gushed over having the most ruthless evil intergalactic villain in his cab. Mind fell for it and agreed to take a photo with him for his collection. While Mind was blinded by the camera flash, Cabbie grabbed him.

Lobo and Superman crashed onto the hood of the cab. Mind slithered out through a hole in the windshield but ended up getting squashed into two by Lobo. Cabbie was grossed out and couldn't believe Superman and Hawkman came in second to Lobo. They made it back to the Watchtower on Earth and waited for Mister Mind to regenerate in his new prison quarters. Cabbie snapped a quick photo with Mind then implied it was time to pay him for fare and damages. Hawkman remembered he picked a piece of anthracite from his wings. Superman used his super strength to crush it into a large diamond. Cabbie whistled and happily accepted then took a photo with Superman and Hawkman. Some time later, Space Cabbie parked his cab on an asteroid and settled down for lunch. Before he could start eating his hoagie, Cabbie was hailed by Batman. Batman stated the Justice League needed his help. Cabbie mistook his request as a call for a ride and asked if Wonder Woman happened to be with him. Batman clarified they needed Cabbie to stop a hijacked Space Train in his sector.

Space Cabbie tried to back out of it but Cyborg quickly offered to quadruple his fare. Cabbie changed his mind and started up the cab. As Cabbie closed in on the train, Cyborg instructed him to find a way onto the train. Cabbie thought he was kidding. Batman tried to tell him it was his duty but Cyborg cut him off and offered a 20% tip. Cabbie quickly agreed to the task. He had Jack, a droid, take the wheel while he leaned out the window for a shot at jumping on the train. He told Jack to get closer but the droid opted to shove him. Cabbie bounced down the roof and nearly fell off but clung to the rear. He reached over the side, pried a panel open, applied a device to hack the system, and entered the train. He spotted Kanjar Ro and quickly hid. He read Batman and Cyborg the riot act about being misled. Batman instructed him to go to the cargo hold and look for container #722 to find what he needed to stop Kanjar. Cabbie grabbed a sword and pried the lid off. He discovered Jonah Hex frozen in a block of ice. Batman explained to him that Hex was one of the most dangerous men in the universe.

Cabbie grabbed some explosives and thawed Hex out. Naturally, Hex collared Cabbie and demanded to know what was going on. He looked outside into space and realized something was up. Cabbie explained Force Field Generators and Magnetic Space Walking Boots. Hex recognized the guns right away then asked why he was in an ice block. Cabbie deferred to Batman, who explained how the Justice League found him frozen in the Rocky Mountains. Hex took on Kanjar's crew. Despite Cabbie warning him not to shoot any windows, Hex shot a window to take out the pirates. The way to the engine room was blocked by a force field. They donned the generator belts and magnetic boots then walked across the roof to the front. Cabbie warned Hex in time to avoid the cloaked Kanjar's blast then took cover. Once Kanjar was defeated, Cabbie informed Cyborg. Things took a turn for the worse and the gravity of a nearby star pulled the train towards it. Cabbie steered the train away onto a desert planet and crashed through several sand dunes. Cabbie declared success and honked the horn.

Cabbie was undaunted by Roxy Rocket, a new rival in the cosmic charter service industry. After watching the commercial, Cabbie retorted it would take more than a stolen warp engine to cut into his business. Space Cabbie went to Apokolips to pick up a fare who turned out to be Darkseid. Darkseid didn't take well to Cabbie trying to dissuade him from taking a trip to the Third Moon of Graxos IV. Cabbie complied and drove straight to the moon. Darkseid paid with a Platinum Omega and told Cabbie to keep the change then told him not to wait. Cabbie sat down and realized he forgot to give Darkseid his receipt. Cabbie searched for him and discovered a crash site of several battleships and spied on Darkseid meeting with Kanto and Desaad, who had Superman in custody after he infected the Boom Tube network with a virus. Cabbie tried to sneak out but stepped on a tool. He skittered off back to the cab to get to a safe distance and call the Justice League for help. Darkseid placed a hand on the hood and stopped the cab dead in its tracks.

Darkseid did not like being defied but overlooked it because his associate Kanto needed a ride back to Apokolips. Cabbie departed with Kanto but quickly put it together he was marked for death. He left the radio on so that the Justice League to trace his signal. Kanto mentioned he meant to make a visit to Schlough, an acid lake planet where space pirates often dumped their victims. Cabbie improvised and lied about how the Green Lantern Corps cordoned off the planet then mentioned a no-name jungle planet a couple par secs over that was home to carnivorous plants that emit a goo so corrosive it could dissolve a cab in seconds. Kanto's curiosity was piqued and he wanted to look at the place. Cabbie tried to dissuade him but Kanto offered another Platinum Omega. Cabbie opened a wormhole and went to Earth. They landed on Earth with Kanto none the wiser. He pulled his gun on Cabbie but he was snatched away by some vines. Kanto was impressed but he himself was entangled in vines. Cabbie was lowered back to the ground and Swamp Thing revealed himself.

Space Cabbie offered to drive the League back to the Third Moon. Wonder Woman split off to deposit Kanto at Belle Reve Prison while Cabbie left with Hawkman and Swamp Thing. Back at the moon, Cabbie drove through the glass pane into the battleship then told Darkseid he forgot his receipt. Darkseid fired his Omega beams at Cabbie but Hawkman blocked the shot with his mace. While Hawkman and Swamp Thing fought the Apokoliptian forces, Cabbie retrieved Jack from the trunk and ran to the containment tube holding Superman. Jack extracted its Kryptonite source and Superman attacked Darkseid. After Superman boomed Darkseid the Schlough, Cabbie realized he still never gave Darkseid his receipt. Superman thanked Cabbie and offered a lift but Cabbie was confident Jack would fix the cab and declined. Jack started up the cab. The engine blew and dropped from the cab onto the ground. Jack hired Roxy Rocket for a ride. Cabbie was irate and declared he would rather walk home first. Roxy arrived then told Cabbie to hop on and hold on tight. Cabbie feared the other cabbies would hear about this. Roxy then mentioned she had a second fare to pick up, Darkseid.

Space Cabbie picked up Batman on New Genesis and drove him back to the Watchtower on Earth. Cabbie landed in the garage bay and asked for $38,000. He offered to waive the charge if Batman took a selfie with him. Batman slipped out and went upstairs to get his wallet. Cabbie walked around and found Booster Gold on monitor duty then asked him for a selfie. Booster asked for $5 then changed his mind. He brought out a can of Golden Fizz, a beverage he endorsed, but Cabbie was aghast he was trying to turn the photo op into an ad. He continued on. He checked old selfies with Superman and Black Canary and realized Booster photobombed them with his drink. He felt a rumble and found Wonder Woman battling Parademons. Cabbie used his camera phone to blind the Parademons until Wonder Woman ended the simulation and revealed they were in a holograhic training simulator. Cabbie insisted he intervened just to get a selfie with her. Cabbie managed to get a selfie with Batman as handed him $38,000 in cash.

Space Cabbie checked out his personal hygiene while he was parked in some alien city but suddenly had two fares at the same time: a pregnant woman and Booster Gold. Booster insisted they would split the fare. A pregant woman wanted to go to Cosmos General Hospital while Booster Gold was in a hurry to return to Earth. Booster insisted they share the fare. Granny Goodness and two Parademons gave chase to the cab. To make matters worse, the woman was about to give birth. Granny Goodness dispatched her two Parademons after the Space Cab. The Parademons managed to tear the roof off before Cabbie hit the brakes and they went flying forward. Granny pulled Booster out but realized what was going on then tossed him into the windshield. She used her experience to help the woman give birth to an infant in the back seat. Granny's threat to turn the infant into an orphan were prevented thanks to the Space Cab's ejector seat. Cabbie once encountered Bizarro, who asked him for directions. Bizarro thought he was a genius then went in the opposite direction.

Space Cabbie went to Alpha Centurion to pick up a waiting fare but he was suddenly wrapped up by Bizarro and whisked to the Watchtower on Earth. Bizarro presented Space Cabbie as the hero who could think on his feet and help the League as Wonder Woman stated. Amazo sensed no evidence of a gifted mind in Cabbie. He insisted he was just a cab driver. Amazo tossed him but Bizarro grabbed a leg and saved him in mid-air. Bizarro was perplexed and wondered if that meant Amazo was smarter than Cabbie then attacked him. Batman instructed Cabbie to go downstairs in the lab, find the energy circuit, then flip the switch in order to stop the transmission recalling other Justice Leaguers to the Watchtower. Cabbie saw the circuit on a wall but Amazo dropped down through the ceiling. Cabbie grabbed a small innocent looking gun and warned Amazo to stop. Amazo mocked him and was shot across the lab. Cabbie was propelled backwards into the wall. Amazo used ice vision to freeze Cabbie's hands and the gun and formed a cube.

Luckily, Bizarro landed on top of Amazo. Cabbie strained for the circuit switch while Bizarro and Amazon continued fighting. Cabbie gave up and switched to reaching with his legs then resorted to kicking. Amazo was ultimately unable to process Bizarro's backwards logic and shorted out. Space Cabbie helped Stargirl practice for her Space Driver's License road test. While driving the Space Cab in an asteroid belt, Cabbie helped Stargirl at the last second because of the cab's blind spot. Stargirl thought it was hopeless and she would never get her license. Cabbie assured her she just had to stop worrying about the things around her and focus on something ahead of her. Stargirl was content with being able to fly on her own and decided to pull over so they could switch places. She passed by Zilius Zox trying to break into a Space ATM. Stargirl wanted to go after him. Cabbie was given the Cosmic Staff and told to shoot out Zox's engines. Since it was a construct, Cabbie fired on Zox and his ring was knocked off.

Zox's ring attempted to recruit Stargirl, but Cabbie pushed the driver's side window up then hit the gas. Stargirl fell out of the ring's trance and returned to normal. Stargirl took the staff and blasted the ring away from Zox then pushed a button on the console. Zox was nabbed with a grappling hook then reeled into the trunk. Cabbie admitted he never knew the cab could do that. Stargirl asked him if they could try parallel parking the next day. Space Cabbie adjusted his bowtie and mirror then Hal Jordan ran to the refueling Space Cab at a Robo-Gas and ordered him to follow Lobo. He drove off with the hose still in and snapped part of it off. Jordan wanted to go faster but Cabbie pointed out he was already exceeding the space speed limit. He suggested contacting a nearby Justice Leaguer but Jordan didn't want anyone to know he lost his ring. Cabbie remembered he just got an automatic upload of a galactic positioning system and remarked it acted like a real fire cracker. He asked it to extrapolate Lobo's destination and plot an intercept course.

Before Cabbie could finish his sentence, the GPS initated intercept and opened a wormhole. Jordan attacked Lobo but he didn't have the ring. Cabbie talked about his Grandma always saying you shouldn't judge by its appearances then admitted he always forgot about putting on his watch. Jordan decided the Two-Headed Babajorian in the restroom with him had it. He had Cabbie take the fastest route back. The GPS revealed it was through an unstable wormhole. Before they could stop it, they went through the wormhole. The cab barely survived the ordeal and teleported to the Robo-Gas a wreck. Cabbie fell out of the cab and reactivated Jordan's Life Support Belt to stop him from choking. Jordan mistook the Babajorian's lower head for a choking baby and reached down its throat for the ring. The Two-Headed Babajorian was outraged and used strong profanity in its alien language. Cabbie did a quick search and his navigational system loosely translated between them.

Hal Jordan asked the GPS to apologize on his behalf but Cabbie interjected and told it to say Jordan attacked because he was clearly the deadliest warrior present but proved no match for his deadly power. The Babajorian scoffed but stopped its assault. Cabbie quickly told Jordan to prostrate himself or the Babajorian would continue attacking until the asteroid they were on was dust. Jordan complied. The lower head spoke and its tongue looked like a baby's rattle then he left. Jordan realized the ring probably fell down the drain but his Life Support Belt was about to run out of power. The energy of the ring infected a lifeform in the drain that descended from a hairball. It rapidly expanded in size and lashed out. Rather than prejudge again, Jordan realized it was just scared and reached in to retrieve his ring. Jordan was restored into a Green Lantern and the Hairball returned to normal. Cabbie took a photo with Jordan for his collection then called the ordeal on the house for preserving the legacy of "Granny Cabbie".

Cabbie offered a ride but Jordan declined and decided to do some flying. Cabbie thought it was an odd thing for a GPS to say. The navigational system revealed it wasn't an app and was really a disembodied artifical intelligence with no memory of its origin. Cabbie declared they made a great team and it could stay with him. It declined the offer and admitted it felt compelled to find something or someone. It morphed into a sphere and left the cab, stating it wouldn't give up hope like the Lantern. Cabbie found that all weird but quickly departed Robo-Gas nonetheless.