Creature Commandos
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Real Identity: Various
Affiliations: A.R.G.U.S.
Appearances: The Collywobbles, The Tourmaline Necklace, Cheers to the Tin Man, Chasing Squirrels, The Iron Pot, Priyatel Skelet, and A Very Funny Monster
Powers/Skills: Various
Voiced By: Frank Grillo (Rick Flag Sr.), Alan Tudyk (Dr. Phosphorus), Indira Varma (Bride of Frankenstein), Sean Gunn (Weasel and G.I. Robot), Zoe Chao (Nina Mazursky), and Diedrich Bader (King Shark)
In 2022, Amanda Waller and Rick Flag Sr. watched a GBS News report about Circe and the Sons of Themyscira violently crossing the border into Pokolistan in Europe. Flag thought the Sons were just a bunch of clowns. She found the Sons to be dangerous clowns and stressed the country was a friend of the U.S. but Flag dismissed the latter. Waller explained it was a friendship built on unmined petroleum deposits that a backward-ass country never took advantage of. She assigned Flag to protect Princess Ilana Rostovic, the heir apparent to Pokolistan they were already in negotiations with for the oil. She took him down several levels to Belle Reve Correctional Center's Non-Human Internment Division.
Flag thought Task Force X was done for. Waller pointed out that technically, Congress said A.R.G.U.S. can't use incarcerated human beings as mission operatives any longer. She entered a password, used a key, and passed a retinal scan. She asked Flag what if the operatives were not human. Flag was stunned. Waller explained for over 50 years, only those at the uppermost levels of security clearance were aware of the division's existence. She believed using these prisoners, they could arguably circumvent their new restrictions. Flag pointed to a woman and asked if she was human. Waller countered if a corpse could be considered a human. She admitted they didn't know who she was and they called her "The Bride." The Bride flipped them off. She summarized Dr. Phosphorus as a sociopath with irradiated skin he can use to burn through people and objects. Flag asked how the radiation affected the people around him. Waller estimated the effects should be minimal as long as you don't sleep in the same room as him. Flag keyed in on "minimal." Waller mused it could be called a free vasectomy.
Weasel coughed up a hairball and ate some of it. Flag looked at Weasel and wondered what it was. Waller explained it was one of the few soldiers still alive from Project Starfish in Corto Maltese and felt it knew how to survive. She quickly apologized and told him she didn't mean to intimate anything about his late son. She reiterated he died a hero. Flag asked about the discontinued dishwasher. Waller pointed out it killed over 300 Nazis in World War II and thought it might come into use again someday, G.I. Robot. G.I. scanned the Jenga set he and Dr. Phosphorus were playing with. He detected a swastika pattern and shot it to pieces. Flag was not so sure about the last prisoner, Nina Mazursky. Waller boasted in water, it was a different story and added she was the smartest and most reasonable of the bunch who would help keep the rest in line. They entered the common area. Phosphorus, Bride, and Weasel charged at them. Flag drew his gun. Waller, unworried, held out her Nanite Detonation Control and applied a crippling electrocution to all five prisoners. She told Flag they were his new task force, Task Force M. M for Monsters. She also gave them the nickname Creature Commandos and tossed him the controller.
Task Force M was transported on an Osprey named Sheba. While on route to Pokolistan, Flag addressed his team and acknowledged he knew they weren't exactly enthusiastic about the mission. Dr. Phosphorus instead stated they were delighted to serve their country. Bride figured out he was smiling sarcastically. G.I. Robot detected unease in Weasel and wondered if it was afraid of being discovered as Nazi scum. Flag assured him he was not a Nazi. Phosphorus pointed out he was a child killer. Flag revealed Weasel had a bad experience the last trip he took on the Osprey. They were met at the airport by the Pokolistani military and a paramilitary unit known as the Amethyst Knights. Flag tried in vain to tell Weasel to calm down during the drive to Poko Castle. Phosphorus exclaimed Weasel urinated on him. He was annoyed no one thought to take him for a walk after the long trip. Bride warned he better not be looking at her. Flag and the Bride looked at the portraits of the royal family and both recognized the gene pool was "above ground and inflatable." To Flag's surprise, Princess Ilana was the opposite - young and beautiful. He bowed to her but the Amethyst Knight Alexi decided to mess with him and lied only the sacred, customary bow was allowed in the castle and they were obligated to kill him. The knights surrounded the task force and armed their gauntlets. Flag claimed he was not briefed on what kind of bow to use. Alexi and the knights broke into laughter. Alexi pointed out Flag was about to mess his pants. Flag denied it repeatedly.
Alexi boasted they were a lot like Americans and cited the Jamie Kennedy Experiment, Super Bowl Shuffle and the "Wazzup" phrase. Dr. Phosphorus sarcastically commended him on his current popular culture references. He then asked Phosphorus, "where's the beef?" Princess Ilana told him that was enough and they proceeded to a banquet prepared for the honored guests. Flag apologized to Ilana for his team's lack of manners at the dinner table because they lived on prison grub. She informed him they didn't stand on ceremony and it was okay to call her just "Ilana." They toasted then she asked if he tried the prison grub. He only saw it but knew it was enough to give him the "collywobbles." Ilana insisted she loved seeing friends enjoying themselves. The queen of Pokolistan was present at the head of the table. It was evident the queen was catatonic in her senior years. Princess Ilana explained she had not been herself for a long time. The queen moaned. Ilana told them the queen was pleased they came then addressed that was why she was handling political affairs even though her ascension to the throne would not be official until the queen died. Ilana told the queen she loved her, too. Mazursky noticed G.I. Robot had nothing and asked a server to bring diesel fuel.
In the early evening, Ilana played fetch with Weasel. Mazursky noted the view was beautiful but G.I. Robot stated he did not enjoy landscapes devoid of dead Nazis. He asked if they would be killing Nazis soon as Waller promised. She mused he would be soon. He asked her if she would like to kill Nazis with him. She promised if it was with anyone, it would be with him. She fist bumped his arm. He was pleased to have a friend to kill with Nazis with after waiting 74 years, 23 days, and 52 minutes. Ilana told Flag she was happy to have the company. They shared a beer as Weasel dragged one of the musicians playing for them. She asked why Weasel was in prison. Flag revealed he supposedly killed 27 children but pointed out he never showed any violent tendencies since then but advised her not to invite the school choir to the castle. Ilana claimed she loved American music like rock and roll. She admitted her country was a charming one but it was backwards, always rejecting progress as corrupt. She revealed it was her most cherished dream to lead her people into the 21st century. Flag quipped he wasn't sure he could recommend it. She asked him if he was married. Flag revealed he was but his wife ended up being his least favorite aspect of that 21st century. She promised to avoid that part. Flag mused missteps sometimes led a person to where they need to be and revealed they had a son when they were both 18 years old but he grew to become a fine young man and an improvement over him in every way.
Ilana was sorry to hear his son passed about two years ago. Flag believed they would have gotten on well like a house on fire. Ilana didn't think that sounded good. Flag assured her it was a good thing. Ilana then intimated she was into older men and announced she wanted to show him something. They went to her room. She showed off an armoire that was over 500 years old. Flag asked her what she wanted to show him. She quickly undressed. He turned away and told her this was not ethical and he was supposed to protect her. She asked him if he had to protect her from loneliness or lack of passion. She pushed him onto her bed and crawled on top of him. She asked if he could protect her from Pokolistani men who never saw the world, had no clue how to treat a woman, and could not see her as a human being from beyond the veil of royalty. He quickly got off the bed and excused himself, promising to assign G.I. Robot to guard her door. Later that night, Mazursky took a bath but heard a sound. She got out and saw the Bride jumping out a window.
G.I. recited the kill count of each of his World War II battles. Mazursky quickly suited up and took the stairs and caught up to the Bride. Bride was surprised no one tried to stop her. Mazursky was confused since they were there to protect them then reminded her they couldn't leave the castle grounds. She remembered the feeling of being electrocuted and called it the worst flaw in the system to be shocked for not doing anything wrong then noted it was the worst feeling ever. The Bride told her to grow a pair then went to the front gate guard shack. Bride told the knight on gate duty to open the door. He noted she was not on the schedule. Bride contended she didn't need a schedule and repeated her command. The knight eventually opened the door. She entered and rudely asked for money because she didn't have any freaking rubles on her. The knight pointed out their money was not called rubles. Bride quipped she was being insulting. The knight took out his money and counted but she took it all and left. Mazursky lied she meant to say thank you. Bride shouted she did not mean anything of the sort. They took a cab.
Flag awoke to find Dr. Phosphorus trying to steal his Nanite Detonation Control. Flag was quickly reminded of the danger of Phosphorus' irradiated skin after punching him. The fire and damage caused by Phosphorus soon caused the floor to cave in. They both fell down to the kitchen below and continued fighting. Eventually, Flag recovered the control and Phosphorus cowered. Princess Ilana entered the kitchen. Flag called him an idiot and questioned him if he thought Waller only gave him one then pointed out he would be hopping like a Mexican jumping bean for days if he escaped but if he told Waller about it, he would dead. He stressed they were supposed to be on the same team. Bride and Mazursky were driven to Frankenstein Manor. Bride revealed she was born there. Mazursky asked why they came to the manor. Princess Ilana took Flag to a bathroom to tend to his wounds. Phosphorus, Weasel, and G.I. stood at the doorway and worried as Flag stared at them while holding the Nanite Detonation Control.
Ilana closed the door and inquired about the control. Flag explained a button on it could activate an unbearably painful jolt directly into their brains. She thought it cruel. Flag admitted that was the point. She told him to take his shirt off in order to clean his wounds. As she wiped his wounds, she asked if he controlled his team with the remote. Flag admitted he did hypothetically. Ilana understood why Phosphorus tried to steal it. He promised to get them under control and keep her safe. She found him to be a kind man, which was rare in Pokolistan. The Bride stared at a Frankenstein family portrait. Mazursky asked if those were her parents. Bride expressed disdain. Mazursky told the Bride not to tsk her and didn't find it cool. She would have settled for a "no" instead. She pointed out she wouldn't know who they are. The Bride explained the manor was Dr. Frankenstein's home for work and his family lived up the road. They went upstairs to the laboratory. Mazursky mentioned her father was a scientist but he never had anything like what she was seeing.
Bride admitted Frankenstein was, if nothing else, a renegade. She stated this was where she was born. Mazursky thought that was horrible. Bride reckoned birth was always horrible but God's gift to humans was he let them forget about it. She pushed a machine over and stated science wasn't so forgiving. Mazursky stated she wasn't human. Bride thought she was a human being with gills. Mazursky added the world didn't see it that way. Bride asked rhetorically when the world was ever right. Mazursky asked what she was looking for and admitted she didn't want to get electrocuted again. Bride almost boasted she felt worse. Mazursky didn't believe her. Mazursky asked again what she was looking for. Bride described her query as a pinkish tourmaline necklace. Mazursky asked if they could go back to the castle if they found it. Bride confirmed it, only because she was annoyed with her. Tanner, one of the Sons of Themyscira, spied on them from outside and informed another Son over his walkie talkie.
Ilana finished bandaging Flag's wrist and asked about the origin of a wound. Flag resisted at first but told her he was stabbed in the Persian Gulf. She asked about another and traced it with her finger. He repeated to her it was unethical for them to fool around. She reminded him she was going to the queen soon and she got what she wanted. She kissed him and they had sex. Alexi approached the bathroom door but Phosphorus stopped him. Alexi wanted to inform Flag two of his teammates left the grounds. Phosphorus estimated he needed 30 seconds. Weasel grunted. Phosphorus agreed and noted Flag was an older guy and probably had a lot of experience. He changed his mind and suggested a full minute. Alexi didn't find the situation funny. Phosphorus clarified it looked like he was smiling even when he was not. Alexi thought he meat he wasn't smiling. Phosphorus revealed he was. The moans and knocks from inside the bathroom continued. After a long pause, Alexi asked if he could knock on the door. Phosphorus held out his index finger. The moans continued.
The Bride entered a bedroom and remembered an incident with Eric Frankenstein. Mazursky found the necklace. Bride wiped her tears before she entered the room. Without saying anything, she took the necklace as she turned away. Mazursky was annoyed. Bride realized Circe was outside the window powering up a spell. As they walked to the transport, Flag made it clear they should have let Alexi brief him sooner. Phosphorus shrugged and told him to sue him for being a bro and doing him a favor. Flag didn't think much of the favor. Phosphorus concluded he couldn't do anything right in his eyes. Flag advised him to drop the martyr complex since he tried to murder him two hours ago. G.I. Robot armed a gun and asked Flag if Phosphorus was a dirty Nazi. Flag stated he wasn't. They loaded up into the transport. Alexi asked where the destination was. Flag showed him his phone and explained his team had trackers in their bodies and asked if he knew the location where Mazursky and Bride were showing up at. He did, exclaimed, and hit the gas. They took off for Frankenstein Manor.
As Mazursky came to, Circe prepared to blast her. Bride tackled her out of the way. Circe powered up again. Bride threw the bed at her. The Sons of Themyscira made their way to them. Bride threw a chest at the first one then stomped the floor. She and Mazursky fell down a floor and took off. A lone Son told them to stop but Bride backhanded him into a wall. Four more came around a corner and opened fire. The Bride grabbed an impromptu shield and waited until they ran out of ammunition then sent them through a wall. She dispatched them one by one. The last one tried to punch her but it did nothing to her. She sent him through the roof, sailing past Circe. Circe opened fire as Bride ran with Mazursky under her arm. She jumped through a window and used one of the Sons as a landing pad. She took his gun and mowed down the rest of the Sons present. Mazursky was irritated she opened fire without warning. Bride pushed her aside and shot at Circe. Circe turned the bullets into butterflies. She told Mazursky to run then was blasted into the grill of a truck. She threw the truck at Circe.
Circe sliced it in half but it was just a feint, and Bride sailed through the opening and punched her back into the manor. They exchanged blows in the laboratory. Circe prepared to kill her but Bride grabbed a shard of glass and jammed it through her leg, kicked her crotch, then tackled her outside onto a balcony. Mazursky contacted Flag but she ran into more Sons and was chased back towards the manor. Bride pummeled Circe but she managed to turn her arms into useless inflatables. She dealt several blows and a headbutt to Bride then pushed her off the balcony. Mazursky's helmet was shattered and she gasped for air. Bride landed near her and apologized. Mazursky managed to tell her to go fuck herself. Bride smiled but she was knocked out by a Son. The Commandos and Alexi took up positions at the manor's fountain. G.I. Robot asked to open fire but Flag ordered him to stay back and keep mum. He checked Bride and Mazurky's locations and noticed they were not moving so they were most certainly captured. He ordered everyone to attack and don't stop until the enemies are all dead or incapacitated.
On Flag's signal, they breached the manor and discovered Bride in the foyer chained to a chair with her mouth taped shut. Dr. Phosphorus believed it was a trap. Bride exclaimed. Alexi demanded her to point her head to the enemy location. Flag ripped the tape off. She told them Circe and the Sons of Themyscira were gone. Flag asked why she was screaming. Bride wanted them to take the tape off so she screamed. G.I. Robot asked where Mazursky was. Bride revealed the Sons took her upstairs before they left. Flag reprimanded Bride. G.I. Robot found Mazursky trapped in a bath tub covered with barb wire. G.I. Robot stated his disappointment in having no Nazis to kill when he arrived was lessened by his pleasure that she was still alive. Mazurksy put her hand on his but he misinterpreted it and shook her hand. Mazursky revealed she couldn't leave the water since her helmet was destroyed but she had a spare back at Poko Castle. G.I. Robot picked her up in the bath tub and carried it downstairs to the transport. Phosphorus super heated the chains and Bride broke free.
Flag pondered why Bride was left alive and realized Circe and the Sons lured them to the manor so they could attack the castle. They took off. One of the Sons got out a grenade but Alexi sideswiped him with his transport and he blew up. Alexi and the Commandos joined the battle. A Son opened fire on Phosphorus but he effortlessly disintegrated the bullets then shoved his arm through the Son's gut and immolated him, calling him a shish kabab. An Amethyst Knight gave Mazursky her spare air suit but he was shot in the head. Alexi and the Commandos took cover behind the fountain. G.I. Robot asked Flag if the Sons were Nazis. Flag got an idea and told G.I. those were Nazis. G.I. Robot opened fire on the Sons. His upper half levitated into the air then each arm produced three guns each and he mowed the Sons down. G.I. Robot was so enamored with killing Nazis, he failed to see Circe behind him. She blew him up then flew towards Ilana's bedroom window.
Soon after, Weasel ran into the room and tackled her out of the castle while biting her viciously. After the hard landing, she tried in vain to crawl away as Weasel slashed her, bashed her head, then tore into her back. Phosphorus remarked he loved a good barbecue then burned her face. Flag was aghast as she screamed. Bride reckoned he wanted monsters, so he got monsters. Mazursky found G.I. Robot's head. He was happy they fought Nazis together and called it a beautiful day. He shut down. She cried and held his head to her chest. The defeated Circe claimed the Commandos had doomed the world. The Commandos returned to Belle Reve with Circe heavily restrained. Flag admitted to Bride he hoped she would be part of this group if the need ever came again. She quipped she didn't realize she had a choice then noticed an Army grunt was spying on them from the fence. Eric Frankenstein paid off a lieutenant and pilot to help him spy on the Bride from a helicopter. He believed she was looking at Flag lovingly and fixated on him.
Bates went outside and Weasel was happy to see her. The guards pinned him to the ground but Bates demanded they let him go then tossed him a dog treat. She asked Flag where he took Weasel, referring to him as a man. Flag noticed and asked who she was. Bates introduced herself as an attorney with the Freedom Project representing John Doe. Flag tossed her business card and pointed out they didn't know Weasel's real name because he couldn't speak. She admitted as much. He stated where they went was classified. Bates stated Weasel was innocent. Flag recalled he killed 27 children. Weasel remembered the night the children died and being shot at by two police officers. Bates tossed him another treat and clarified he was accused. Flag countered he was convicted. She added "unfairly." Weasel sniffed her purse. Bates stated he was unfairly accused of killing eight children. Flag remarked that made him a saint. She pointed out there was no real evidence to prove it and revealed she was waiting three days to see him. Flag relented and walked away.
Bates took out photographs of the children killed at Sunnyhill School in hopes of provoking some type of reaction. Weasel licked his crotch. She snapped her fingers then asked him if any of the photographs meant anything to him. He looked at them and started to remember. He seemed sad one second then chomped on the photograph of a blonde girl and coughed it up. The guards entered the room stating her time was up. Bates told Weasel she was going to figure it out. Circe showed Waller an apocalyptic vision of Princess Ilana conquering the United States of America to explain her reason for trying to kill the royal. Waller ordered Flag to gather the Commandos and head back to Pokolistan to kill Princess Ilana. He was irate. Waller believed the Commandos could easily neutralize the threat now that they had her trust. Flag objected to the notion of the United States being in the business of executing people for crimes they haven't committed yet. Waller stated they were in the business of saving the world by any means necessary.
Flag refused to take part in it and left. Economos asked what next. Waller wanted to find a leader who was less whiny, little bitch, and more bitch. In the Non-Human Internment Division, inmates received their daily meal. Dr. Phosphorus was being sarcastic about being back home to the sweet smell of hyena vomit. Bride was annoyed he was acting like they were buddies all of a sudden. They saw Congorilla take all of Mazursky's food, claiming since he was bigger he should have more food. Bride told Congorilla to giver her food back. Congorilla growled and walked away. She knocked him into a wall then broke his jaw by repeatedly bashing her food tray into it, possibly killing him. Phosphorus took Nosferata's tray and swapped it with Mazursky's empty tray, noting now everyone was happy except her because she had no food and was ugly and him because he no longer had a jaw and was likely dead. Economos told Bride she was leading the team back to Pokolistan with Mazursky, Phosphorus, and Weasel. Guards dragged Congorilla's body away.
During the flight back to Pokolistan, Mazursky asked Bride why she helped her in the cafeteria. Bride replied she owed her for almost getting her killed. Mazursky didn't think that made them even or getting her gross food helped make up for it. Bride was amused and revealed they were ordered to kill Princess Ilana. Mazursky asked why but quickly realized it was on a need to know basis and they didn't need to know. She asked Bride if she killed anyone before. Bride admitted she did then asked her. Mazursky asked if it seemed like she did. Bride agreed she didn't. Mazursky asked if she was going to kill Ilana. Bride remarked it would be one less human and more room for the monsters to roam. Mazursky wondered what Weasel was dreaming about. Bride mused it was probably just chasing squirrels.
Alexi welcomed the Commandos back to Pokolistan. He ordered some soldiers to help them with their bags. Bride assured him they were protecting Princess Ilana from another credible threat. Alexi recalled Pokolistan had no problems when it was isolation for 100 years but as soon as they opened up communications with America, there was nothing but threats within a week's time. Bride wasn't going to comment on their government's political choices. Alexi asked what or who the threat was. Bride told him that was classified. Alexi asked if Princess Ilana's life was in danger, should they know about the threat. Bride only said it didn't really matter what she thought. They headed into the transport. While on the drive to the castle, Alexi took a call and diverted to an ambush after Rick Flag Sr. tipped Princess Ilana about the next attempt on her life. Alexi claimed there was traffic to the castle so they had to take an alternative route.
Eventually, Bride pointed out they were going in the opposite direction of the castle and leaving the city. Alexi lied that it looked roundabout but it was a good shortcut. They stopped at the end of the road at a fenceline. Bride was upset. Alexi lied the engine was making a funny hoise. Dr. Phosophorus yelled at him to keep moving even if it damaged the engine permanently. The military and Amethyst Knights took up positions around them. Alexi put a gun to Bride's head but Phosphorus punched his head off. They exited the transport and scattered. They focused on Bride and Phosphorus. Out of bullets, Bride leaped into air and tackled a Knight. Eventually, the crashed into a rooftop pigeon coop. Phosphorus took his clothes off and cut through a tank, killing both soldiers inside while in motion flipping them off. The tanks split in half and exploded. Bride ripped the Knight's arms off and put on their gauntlets then blasted the helicopter out of the air.
A heavily wounded tank driver begged Phosphorus not to kill him. He stepped on him and melted his head into a puddle. Weasel climbed over a pile of trash in an alley as a police car passed by. Nina Mazursky hid in a rundown building while soldiers marched by outside. The Bride could not find anyone and continued running down an alley. One of the Amethyst Knights, Sergei, reported the Commandos escaped but believed they would not be much danger out there on their own. Ilana found it tragic they were being misled by their own government but concluded they had no choice and ordered Sergei to find them and kill them all. They eluded the Knights into the evening. Phosphorus hid in a dumpster. After some Amethyst Knights passed by, he got out and continued through the city on foot. Mazursky sneaked along the buildings and happened to bump into the Bride. The Bride drew her gun at first then scolded her for sneaking up on her. Mazursky countered she didn't have much choice but to sneak. Bride grabbed her as a patrol happened to cut them off on both sides.
They entered a business that turned out to be a brothel called Can-Can run by a woman named Madame Gyurov. Bride went to Gyurov and ordered her to pretend she didn't see them or her head would be blown off. Mazursky suggested not blowing her head off. Bride disagreed. Mazursky was annoyed with how hyperbolically violent she was and told her she needed therapy. A group of Amethyst Knights demanded to be let inside. A French sex worker opened the door and suggested they saw Radka and Silviya returning from the store. One of the other knights became distracted. The mustachioed Knight in charge asked they contact the Knights if they saw anyone suspicious. He shoved the distracted Knight outside. The worker invited him to return when he wasn't working so the girls could get to know a handsome, royal knight more intimately. After they left, Gyurov felt it was time for them to leave. Bride peeked outside from a window and saw some knights lingering around. She decided they were going to hang around until the heat was off. Mazursky asked if they had Scattergories to Bride's chagrin.
Weasel encountered a pack of wolves near a forest and was surrounded. The alpha was white and had some scars across its snout. Phosphorus hid in an alley then jumped over the wall onto a family's property. He melted the doorknob and entered the house before he was spotted. He noticed framed photographs of a little girl then looked at her parents' wedding picture. The little girl stared at Phosphorus and stated her language that she was hungry. He correctly guessed what she said. Weasel got down on all fours then confused the wolves by chomping on the ground. He tossed up a stick and caught it then gestured. The alpha got excited. Weasel threw the stick and the alpha retrieved it then returned it to him. They continued playing around. Gyurov asked Bride if she ever considered this line of work and mused the two of them would be popular since men were always looking for a bit of strange. Bride replied they had a little more respect for themselves than that. Gyurov noted she used her body as a weapon to kill people as opposed to a source of pleasure and questioned it. She could tell by her eyes she had no respect for herself nor anyone else.
Bride was irked. Gyurov claimed her girls struggled because they wanted to live while the Bride did everything she could to die. Bride pressed her gun to Gyurov's jaw. Mazursky asked her not to shoot her. Gyurov agreed. Bride stated she wasn't her friend. There was a knock at the door. Gyurov pointed out it would bring much suspicion if she didn't answer. Bride gestured to the French sex worker. The Craic Brothers barged in. Paddy slapped the worker's butt and wanted to party. Bride chided it was a wonderful life worth struggling for. Weasel and the wolves hopped around in a run of tall grass. The little girl ate cereal in the kitchen. Phosphorus wished she didn't see him since he didn't want to risk any witnesses giving away his location. She called him "skelet" to which he easily figured was "skeleton." She called him "priyatel skelet." He wasn't sure what that meant.
A scream from upstairs in Can-Can. Gyurov found the worker with a black eye and blood running from her nose and mouth. She ordered Paddy Craic to leave immediately. He claimed she hit him. The worker explained he was hurting her. Gyurov repeated herself and stated no one touches the girls in a way they don't want to be touched. He announced he did what he wanted and revealed he had electrical superpowers. Gyurov understood he was a metahuman and added his kind were welcome but were not allowed to use their powers on the premises. He choked her and threw her then backhanded the worker then implied being hit is the kind of thing that got him going. Mazursky smashed a bottle over his head and told him to leave. He asked what kind of freak she was. She struck him again. Brian Craic came to the doorway and asked what was going on. Paddy complained a whore kept ruining his fun everywhere he went and decided to kill everyone then leave. Brian was annoyed then activated his electrical ability only to be shot in the head by the Bride, stating they crashed the wrong whorehouse.
Paddy was enraged and decked her through two walls. She removed her jacket, blocked him, and punched him. He grabbed for anything to attack with but it was a dildo. She ripped his hand off then threw him on the bed then easily dodged his blasts and pulled his heart out of his chest by force. Bride mused it wasn't how he expected his day to end, then she crushed the heart and he died. Gyurov asked if this was a common occurrence. Mazursky admitted it sort of was, sadly. The pair left Can-Can. The worker thanked them. Bride brushed it off. Mazursky called her a softie. Bride retorted she was only saving her again and called her an idiot. Mazursky realized they were friends. Bride told her to get over herself. Weasel woke up and thought of the blonde girl from Sunnyhill School he befriended then Princess Ilana. He looked at Poko Castle in the distance then at the sleeping pack.
The little girl's parents woke up and ran downstairs. They found Phosphorus playing airplane with their daughter outside. He put her down and apologized then asked if they minded telling him which way it was to Poko Castle. The mother pointed. He continued to the castle. As the Sun rose, Phosphorus was reunited with Weasel then Bride and Mazursky as they all neared the castle. Phosphorus complimented Bride on her hot new look, her clothes ripped up from the fight in the brothel. She told him to can it and referred to him as Jack Skellington. She mused it was time to go kill a princess. They converged on a royal guard stationed in the security tower. Weasel suddenly appeared in front of the guard's binoculars. Bride grabbed him by the throat and slammed his head repeatedly. Eric Frankenstein noticed and was amused she was still up to her old tricks. Nina Mazursky felt it was overkill but Bride sarcastically suggested the reason for it was his hat.
Mazursky questioned the mission and wondered if they were going to kill Princess Ilana for no reason. Frankenstein climbed up the tower barehanded. Dr. Phosphorus noted there were billions of humans in the world and asked Weasel who would notice a few less. Weasel drooled. Phosphorus interpreted that as he didn't care. Mazursky disagreed with him and didn't think Weasel understood what he was saying. Bride brought up the vision Waller saw and felt any risk was worth stopping it. Mazursky was unsure. Bride looked at the security camera feeds and tried to find a path into the castle that wasn't swarming with guards. Dr. Phosphorus found feeds stored from the past few days. He lit a cigar but was surprised to find a video from two days ago that showed Princess Ilana talking to Clayface. Frankenstein made it to the tower and addressed the Bride only to be quickly shot in the chest three times. He fell down to the castle grounds. Phosphorus asked if he was a paramour of hers. She told him to can it. Mazursky pointed out they should leave just in case somebody heard the gunshots.
Bride wanted to head to the wall at the back to the garden since it looked like the least protected. She jumped out the window and landed near Frankenstein. He tried to tell her about his and Rick Flag Sr.'s discovery but she shot him again then spat on him. Mazursky noticed Knights scrambling, took Bride's hand, and they ran. They took up positions near the wall. Bride believed the other side was where there were the fewest guards. Phosphorus vaporized the jaw off a single Royal Guard and went to work in burning a path through the wall. Princess Ilana prepared for her usual morning swim in the garden's pond despite Sergei's concerns. She noted the Knights were surrounding the perimeter and keeping her safe so she could continue to be an example for her people. Sergei pointed out only her soldiers were present. Phosphorus made it through the wall and they hid among the trees. Weasel saw Ilana and became animated. Mazursky held him down, realizing she was excited to see Ilana because she played fetch with him during their previous visit. Bride was naturally annoyed. Phosphorus asked if they should put him down. Both Bride and Mazursky told him no at the same time. He told them to calm down since he was just brainstorming.
Mazursky tried to calm Weasel down. She asked how they were going to get close enough to Princess Ilana. Bride stared at her. Bride believed the only way to get to Ilana was underwater. Mazursky refused to do it. They tried in instruct her on how to kill Ilana. Mazursky stated she didn't know how to kill. Bride took out her curved blade and told her to shove it into Ilana's belly and twist then pointed out water was her advantage. Phosphorus reminded her killing Ilana was the only way to save the world. Bride stated she was a monster like her. Mazursky recalled she once said the opposite back in Frankenstein Manor. Bride claimed she was lying because she was a bitch then assured Mazursky she was the biggest freak of them all. Phosphorus added his approval. Mazursky decided to do it. After she left, Phosphorus asked Bride if it sounded like he cared. Mazursky prepared to stab Ilana while she was performing a backstroke. Weasel ran into the pond and got her attention. Ilana noticed Mazursky and dodged her thrust.
They struggled underwater. Phosphorus grabbed Weasel but got bitten on his left arm. Weasel's lips burned. Phosphorus tossed him. Mazursky lost the blade. Ilana grabbed it and fatally stabbed her in the gut several times. Bride walked into the pond and was shocked to see Mazursky's body float up to the surface. The Knights surrounded the Commandos. Sergei ordered them to halt and arrived with Waller on the line. Waller told Bride she made a mistake. Ilana rose up through the blood and walked out of the pond emotionless. Bride crushed the communication device. The Knights called Weasel a hero and Sergei declared they would build a monument in his honor. Phosphorus was annoyed. Bride asked if he wanted to Knights to pet him. Phosphorus thought it would nice only if they hands didn't burn off since he hadn't been touched in 15 years. She acknowledged knowing how that felt. She walked away and told him she would be back. Bride found Ilana walking down the hall to her study. Bride followed her inside. Ilana told her she understood Bride was following orders and didn't hold it against her. She speculated Circe framed her in a bid to destroy the world.
Bride looked at the books on her shelves and disagreed. Bride openly stated she believed Circe was telling the truth about her. Ilana thought she was funny and opened the drawer she kept her pistol in. Bride revealed she saw Clayface on the tapes. Ilana's smile disappeared. Bride figured out she seduced Flag to get him on her side, then after they captured Circe she suggested killing her right away which would have taken care of everything but Flag refused so she sent Sergei to spy on them in America. She presumed he saw Dr. MacPherson, the preeminent expert on Themyscira, and since she would back up whatever Circe said, Ilana hired Clayface to impersonate and discredit MacPherson so Waller would have second thoughts and call off the hit. Ilana called her theory nonsense. Bride called her a power mad, sadistic, narcissistic Disney princess who wanted to destroy the world. Ilana glanced at her pistol. Bride clarified that rather than to save the world, she was going to kill her because she took the life of the only friend she had. Ilana grabbed the pistol but Bride shot her in the forehead first.
Bride told Phosphorus and Weasel they were leaving and to make it fast. An embassy official wanted to ask them questions but Bride shoved him to the ground. Phosphorus saw tears streaming down her face and understood. He patted her shoulder as they left the castle. Waller added Nosferata, Khalis, and King Shark to Task Force M. On the elevator down to the Non-Human Internment Division, Economos joked all it took was some hottie princess to turn Flag into a complete moron. Bride wasn't so chummy. Economos assured her Waller knew how to express her gratitude when it was deserved. He revealed they converted an abandoned wing for her and her team. She keyed on the latter. She saw Phosphorus playing table tennis against Nosferata, Khalis knitting, Weasel licking his crotch, a newly rebuilt and improved G.I. Robot, and King Shark. King Shark laughed at her and called her haircut dumb. Economos asked her if she was in. Bride smiled and asked what else she was going to do.
Current Operatives
Bride of Frankenstein
Dr. Phosphorus
G.I. Robot
Khalis
King Shark
Nosferata
The Weasel
Former Operatives
Rick Flag Sr.