Philadelphia
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Real Identity: Not Applicable
Appearances: Philly
Powers: Not Applicable
Voiced By: Not Applicable
The Teen Titans went on a trip to Philadelphia, birthplace of America, the city of brotherly love, and the nation's first captial. Robin had to explain to the other Teen Titans that he was dressed as Benjamin Franklin, a founding father of the United States of America and one of Philadelphia's most famous residents. He held out a hundred dollar bill and a portrait. Raven recalled he was the guy that hooked up a door to a boomerang and threw it into some snow. Robin immediately stated that was wrong and told them Franklin discovered electricity by flying a kite and a key into a lightning storm. He demonstrated and was hit by a lightning bolt to the other Titans' delight. They were about to go to the T-Car but Robin grabbed their attention after he mentioned they would never know about the Philadelphia Curse but almost ruined it by trying to act cool.
Robin took them to see the statue of William Penn, founder of Pennsylvania, atop Phildelphia City Hall informing them it stood over 36 feet tall and weighed more than 53,000 pounds. He explained when the city erected the statue in 1894, it was said that if any structure was built taller than William Penn, a great curse would fall over the city. Raven pointed out taller buildings like One Liberty Place near city hall. Robin quipped they were behind Penn so he couldn't see them. Cyborg, Starfire, and Beast Boy tried telling the statue to no avail. Raven rectified it by conjuring a giant hand and turning the statue around. Nothing happened at first then the statue became animated and enraged. It scaled a building and bashed it while helicopters shot at it in vain. Robin didn't want to leave without doing something but Starfire felt it was the city's fault for making taller buildings. Robin conceded but felt it their fault for telling him. Beast Boy pointed out it was too huge to fight. Robin found a posting that anticipated Penn going on a rampage.
Robin scanned the QR code with his Titans Communicator and learned the only way to stop Penn was to present it with the three pillars of Philadelphia: scrapple, a soft pretzel, and a cheesesteak then bring them to Independence Hall and ring the Liberty Bell to lure Penn to them. They walked to Scrapple B's Diner to collect the first pillar, scrapple. Robin explained Philadelphians ate it for breakfast and cautioned them to be diligent because there was a trial at each pillar. Beast Boy thought little of it and stepped on a jawn. The angry jawn summoned tons of jawns. Starfire found them incomprehensible but adorable until one bit her hand. The Titans were beat up and unable to talk the jawns down since they didn't speak Philadelphian. Luckily, Michael and Kevin Bacon intervened and told the jawns to forget about those jabronies and head to Overbrook for water ice and hit the jawn down the shore. It worked and the jawns left. Kevin inquired why they were at the diner. Robin explained it was to deal with the curse, to their horror.
They wondered what kind of dummies would reveal the taller skyscrapers to Penn. The Titans pretended not to know and asked the Bacon Brothers for their help. They quickly agreed and got some scrapple. Raven wondered what was in it. Michael explained some thought the laughter of unicorns, smiles of a baby, and soft tickles of a puppy. Kevin added others believed it was pig butt, pig heart, intestines, and even more butts. Only Beast Boy was concerned. The Bacon Brothers sang their song about scrapple. Following City Hall's instructions, they found a soft pretzel cart. Robin warned Cyborg but got ignored. Cyborg wondered if he should add mustard or not. Kevin got perturbed and stressed soft pretzel was garbage without mustard. Cyborg was convinced. An eagle swooped in and stole the pretzel. To make matters worse, it was the last one. The Titans chased it into the park but it dodged them as the Bacon Brothers cheered on the eagle until Robin demanded help. Michael played his guitar and the eagle perched on it and rocked to his melody. Robin tackled the eagle and took the pretzel but he got pooped on. Everyone else cheered on the eagle dookie.
The last pillar was the Philly cheesesteak but they had to decide between cheese sauce or provolone, one of Philadelphia's greatest riddles. Michael replied cheese sauce but Kevin replied provolone. Robin, Raven, and Beast Boy sided with Michael but Starfire and Cyborg sided with Kevin. A cheese war broke out. Beast Boy got between the brothers and told them it was the city of love and mommy. They understood he meant city of brotherly love and came up with a solution, a Philadelphian chooses them all. The Bacon Brothers rang the Liberty Bell. After Penn heard the bell, he was about to stomp the Titans and the Bacon Brothers but he smelled the three pillars and ate them, ending the curse. Penn was sad about going back to City Hall but Michael Bacon told it it didn't have to go back if it didn't want to. Kevin Bacon offered it an alternative of hanging out with them.
It was elated and elected Robin to take his place. He was tied to the statue's log, meant to symbolize the treaties Penn made with local Native American tribes. The eagle returned and pecked Robin's head. Penn, the Bacon Brothers, and the other Titans went on a tour of the city, including watching a football game, ice skating, and running up the steps leading to the East entrance of the Philadelphia Museum of Art like in "Rocky". At sunset, they sat and watched boats pass under the Benjamin Franklin Bridge.