The Ship
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Real Identity: Not Applicable
Appearances: Ship, Catpin Freak, 50% Crew, Five Bucks, and Wild Card
Powers/Skills: Various
Voiced By: Not Applicable
Starfire departed Earth for a special mission to Tamaran with the finest of Earth's specimens: The Freak, the Folding Paper Man, 50% Chad, and the Tooth Fairy. Robin wanted to come but Starfire blasted off without him in a ship. She re-briefed them about their mission to find three rare ingredients for the special surprise she was planning for her sister Blackfire. Freak was hungry and tried to eat Silkie. Starfire scolded him and stated he was only to be licked then handed him back. Next, she showed them the living quarters which were custom made for each of them. Freak had a cardboard box decorated with a rainbow drawing, a hospital bed for Tooth Fairy, a desk for Folding Paper Man, and half a bed for 50% Chad. Folding Paper Man fit himself into an envelope, closed it, turned over, and napped. After that, Starfire showed them a Num-Numtron, a device to could instantly produce any food that could be imagined. Freak wanted wood and got a piece of wood he happily chomped on.
Starfire took them to the command bridge and assigned crew positions. Starfire declared herself captain because she ate most of the cereal, made Tooth Fairy the chief officer of the medicine, 50% Chad the officer of the weapons and security, Folding Paper Man the head of the paperwork, and Freak the officer of the communications. Platz the computer took offense she made a crew and reminded her she could perform all the duties of everyone with both processors tied behind his back. Starfire introduced Platz to everyone else. Platz switched from the big monitor screen to a mini screen on an armbar. He offered to eject her crew into space but she insisted they were her friends. Platz offered Folding Paper Man a useful job, sending the ship into warp drive but the console looked like a baby toy. Folding Paper Man want to file a warp drive request first. Platz did it himself and everyone was thrown into the wall. The ship reached a cruising speed of 920,000 miles a second. Platz hit the brakes hard and pretended their was an emergency, a blob was attacking them. Sensors and communications failed them.
Platz used evasive maneuvers but the blob was still on them. The crew was thrown into the giant monitor screen. Folding Paper Man fainted at the sight of the blob. Starfire wanted Tooth Fairy's assistance in tending to him but 50% Chad pointed out she was out in space. Starfire wondered how she got out into space. Platz nonchalantly admitted he did it because Tooth Fairy creeped him out so he issued her a space time-out for a little bit. Starfire asked him to bring her back in. Freaky pointed out the blog got her. 50% Chad fired lasers at half-power but they had no effect. Starfire decided they had to go outside to retrieve her. They, too, ended up in the blob and attacked in vain. Folding Paper Man turned himself into a paper airplane and transported everyone back to the Ship. Starfire was all but ready to give up but Platz gave her one last option, the Cadmium Thermabomb but when detonated, nothing would survive its power. Everyone made peace with making the ultimate sacrifice but it was just a prank by Platz.
Confetti dropped on them and he cleared the smushed bug with water and a windshield wiper. Platz felt entitled to some fun since he had to haul them around. A bug's angry giant mother found the ship in space. No one believed Platz. She swallowed it whole. Platz realized the bug's saliva was super acidic and ate through its shields at a rapid rate. Even at full throttle, the ship could not get free. 50% Chad came up with a half-baked idea to escape. He and the Tooth Fairy made their way to the mouth. Tooth Fairy lodged her crowbar Steenburgen under a tooth on the bug's bottom row. 50% Chad leaped off the top row and landed on the crowbar. The tooth popped out and the bug barfed the ship, Tooth Fairy, and Chad out into space. The ship gathered them up and took off with the bug in hot pursuit. It chomped at them while Folding Paper Man worked on the other half of the plan. The ship blasted a hole through Krypton and flew through it. The bug bashed the remains of the planet into pieces and gained on them.
Folding Paper Man completed a giant paper version of the baby bug and launched into space. The bug teared up, hugged it, weeped, kissed it, and left with it. The crew cheered. Platz admitted he underestimated them and declared they were all right in his book then announced a celebration. He hugged them with robot arms and turned on the disco balls and music. There was a tapping on the glass. Starfire couldn't believe Platz ejected Tooth Fairy into space again. Platz didn't see what the problem was. Freak noticed whenever Captain Starfire said anything, everyone did so. He wanted to be captain but Tooth Fairy pointed out he would get them all killed. Freak clarified he would be captain or he would crush them all into a mush-pile. 50% Chad made up a rule that to be captain one would have to wear a captain's hat. Freak left and returned with a toilet and wore it as a hat. Starfire acquiesced and declared he was the new captain then briefed everyone the mission of the day was to find a Moon Flower as part of their upcoming visit to Tamaran.
Folding Paper Man checked the space guide and saw there was an Astro Market nearby. Platz offered his shuttle. They walked backwards while thrumming their lips and piled into the shuttle. Rather than wait, Freak flew with through the bay door. After escaping certain death several times on a planet, Freak pushed the crew into a refrigerator and flushed his toilet hat. The propelling motion somehow allowed him to fly them back to The Ship. He created a new hole in the bay door then crashed through walls until he reached the bridge. The crew thanked and apologized Freak but Folding Paper Man pointed out they had no Moon Flower. Freak knocked on the freezer and the door opened, revealing a Moon Flower. Freak decided he didn't want to be captain anymore because it was a thankless job then announced he was now going to be a surgeon and chased the crew around.
Seven space days into the journey, Starfire's crew located the Celestial Sugar Crystal, the second rare item on her list. The crew took it literally and salivated over candy. Folding Paper Man folded himself into a candy wrapped and got eaten by Freaky Face. He spit out in disgust, claiming Folding Paper Man tasted like garbage. Platz asked Starfire if she was sure she wanted to take those "geniuses" to the crystal with them. Starfire thought it would be fun. They went to the teleporter. Platz transferred to a mobile device worn like a necklace by Stafire. He admitted he was looking forward to working remotely. 50% Chad operated the teleporter. A glitch occurred and they lost the top halves of their bodies. Starfire recalled 50% Chad told her he repaired the teleporter the week before. He admitted he was only able to fix 50% of it and figured that was enough. Folding Paper Man was annoyed by that presumption. 50% Chad repeated his life motto, "Half the time, it works 50% of the time." Starfire was annoyed and ordered him to fix it. He went to work but believed it was still a 50:50 chance it would work. It didn't work.
Starfire tried to keep them calm and suggested improvising. She used Silkie as a head, Folding Paper Man made a statuesque paper head, Freak used a boot, and Tooth Fairy used a pillow with a face drawn on she called Ginger Vitis. Starfire wanted to find a way to forcibly eject themselves from the Ship. They went to the escape pod. However, it required a palm print scan. They tried their butts one at a time then all at once. The scanner exploded and the escape pod was ejected into space where it exploded. Starfire's next idea was to manually pilot the ship to the crystal by working in tandem. 50% Chad remembered he took half a semester of Driver's Ed. Freak acted as the legs, Starfire as the torso, Folding Paper Man as the arms, and the Tooth Fairy as the head. Freak disregarded Chad's instructions and gunned the gas pedal. He refused to listen and crashed the Ship through the smaller crystal shards. They tried to shift to a higher gear but the stick broke. The chairs and coffee pot exploded and the engine stalled out.
They went to the Engineering Room to jump start it. Chad had a half-thought out idea to do so by using a jumper cable like jump rope. The crew got tired and irritated then opted to literally kick the engine into starting. It exploded instead. The explosion triggered the Security Bot 5 to activate. Starfire revealed Platz installed it to protect the Ship from meat sacks. Freak pointed out they were meat sacks. Security Bot deemed them threats and tried to destroy them with lasers. They ran down the wall. He heated and pulled doors apart and used twin grenade launchers but they ducked into an alley while Security Bot zoomed past. Chad had a half-baked idea to everyone's chagrin. With no other choice they followed Chad into a room and pretended to be operating a day spa. Security Bot let its guard down once Folding Paper Man massaged the right spot on its shoulders and sat down. Tooth Fairy gave a pedicure with a grinder while Starfire did a leg massage with a jackhammer. Chad put oil on the other foot.
Security Bot remembered it was programmed to destroy. Folding Paper Man stated no one worked on a spa day. Chad pointed out it could destroy them tomorrow. Tooth Fairy advised it to take it easy and enjoy the moment then put a towel around its neck and rubbed its temples. Security Bot relaxed then talked about how stressful it was to be a bot: crush this, destroy that. It realized it needed me time and friends. It hugged the crew in gratitude and asked how it could return the kindness. Some time later, Security Bot fixed the teleporter. The top halves of the crew returned and the sugar crystals had been retrieved already. Starfire apologized to Chad but realized their bodies were mixed up. She had Freak's lower torso, Folding Paper Man had Starfire's, Tooth Fairy had Folding Paper Man's, and Freak had Tooth Fairy's. The crew located a Galactic Egg on an asteroid but the surface was too hard for their drill. Tooth Fairy turned her wand into a dentist's drill and successfully revealed the egg. It was still lodged in the asteroid.
Folding Paper Man turned himself into a crowbar but the egg would not budge and a piece ricocheted and hit Freaky Face's mouth. His top middle tooth fail off and he threw a tantrum. Starfire opted to have everyone teleported back to The Ship and came back after he calmed down. Tooth Fairy was eager to have the tooth but Freak refused and stomped her. Everyone explained what the Tooth Fairy's job was. She revealed she now left $5 for a tooth instead of a quarter. Everyone happily knocked a tooth out. Freak felt bad and gave one of this teeth to 50% Chad and Platz. The next morning, everyone was happy to find five dollar bills under their pillows. Chad got it in half dollars while Platz received digital currency. Tooth Fairy lamented she would never know the joy of losing a tooth and getting money for it. She revealed she never lost a tooth because her magic was too strong. Starfire vowed they would help to rectify that. 50% Chad tried a twist on the classic removal via string. Instead of slamming a door on her, he simply kicked her at half strength. It didn't work. He offered to kick harder but she declined.
Freak got an idea and dressed her and himself in hockey gear then proceeded to rough house. It didn't work either. Starfire opted to try kind and gentle counseling but it failed and she became angry and tried to pry a tooth out with her hands. Platz offered a simple solution: use the teleporter to isolate a tooth and beam the rest of her away. It worked. Starfire ordered Platz to teleport the Tooth Fairy out of space and back onboard. They tucked Tooth Fairy in for the night. The loss of the tooth caused her magic to fall out of alignment and she turned into an angry Tooth Monster. The next morning, to add insult to injury, the others found out Folding Paper Man gave her a nickel instead of five dollars. She demanded her tooth back but Freak couldn't remember what he did with it. They were chased throughout the Ship until he remembered he ate it. The crew convinced Folding to turn himself into a substitute tooth but it was too gross for him.
Platz guided them to the teleporter room so they could beam the tooth back into Tooth Fairy's mouth. It worked and she turned back to abnormal. 50% Chad pointed out they still needed to get the Galactic Egg on the asteroid. Tooth Fairy suggested using the same strategy and she beamed the egg onboard. Out of gratitude, Starfire, Freak, and Folding Paper Man knocked all their teeth out for her. The Ship finally reached Tamaran. Starfire revealed to the crew that Blackfire was in search of the lost city of Tamaran which held the Fire Crown, a powerful weapon that would allow her to destroy the planet. She further revealed she already had a flawless plan utilizing everyone's unique skills and abilities that would allow them to find and destroy the crown before Blackfire found it. Blackfire's ships surrounded the Ship and ordered them to land at Blackfire's palace. Starfire wished to comply but Platz noticed there was something stuck in the landing gear. Starfire lifted the landing gear access panel and discovered a mangled Robin had stowed away on the landing gear. Starfire worried her plan was in peril. Robin declared he was the wild card. The Ship landed and they were "greeted" by a suspicious Blackfire. Blackfire was later dropped off at space jail after she was defeated. Robin was nearly left behind and jumped for the landing gear with the Starfire cake baked by the crew.