S.S. Risky Business
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Real Identity: Not Applicable
Appearances: Trans Oceanic Magical Cruise
Powers/Skills: Transportation
Voiced By: Tara Strong (Computer Voice)
The S.S. Risky Business is a cruise ship famous for its trans oceanic magical cruise and is themed after the works of actor Tom Cruise. There is a Last Samurai Sushi booth, A Few Good Menswear store, Legendary Petting Zoo, I've got the Need for Speedway, theater with stage shows of Bored on the Fourth of July, Sock of Ages, and Interview with a Bloodsucker. A group of aliens in giant war machine walkers always attacks the S.S. Risky Business when it is on route. Robin heard of it and decided to book the cruise for the Teen Titans so they could get rid of the aliens once and for all. He didn't tell them that and they thought they were just going on a vacation. The Titans were eager to run into the Impossible Buffet but Robin stopped them and warned it was guarded by an advanced security system. He demonstrated by flicking a coin inside. An automated turret, flame thrower, and bomb-dropping drone attacked it. A robot leg with a high heel on kicked the coin out and a computer voice thanked it for coming. Raven found it all a little extreme. Robin emphasized everything on the cruise was extreme.
Starfire asked how they were going to get to the food. Robin pointed to a small vent on the roof. Cyborg opened a brief case to reveal a joystick and game pad with two buttons then a harness rig appeared. He lowered Robin down into the building past the security lasers. Robin was pulled up with an armful of food but it all slipped out. They blamed his baby hands but Robin denied it. Beast Boy tried next, lowered Robin right into a laser, then pulled him up with an armful of muffins. He dropped them. The four Titans started to fight over the joystick. Robin was electrocuted by the lasers, hit by a flame thrower, and bit by a wolf hanging by a rope. Robin returned with a single burnt French fry. Beast Boy was angry and slapped it out of his hand. Raven suggested they go to the theater for snacks. A vampire headlined a stage show production of "Interview with a Bloodsucker" aboard the S.S. Risky Business. The story was an actual job interview in which the Vampire told the Interviewer that he just wanted to dance and be a dance instructor rather than biting people. Raven took an immediate interest and wanted to see it. The other Titans were annoyed it wasn't scary and left. Raven remained.
Starfire suggested going to the Legendary Petting Zoo next. Robin asked her to go on ahead first because he wanted to speak to Beast Boy and Cyborg first. She obliged. Robin asked them not to come because he wanted to tell Starfire how much he cared for her. They understood but wanted a bribe. They made Robin say "Show us the money" then as Alfred Pennyworth then Batman then as Starfire. They were amused by how he was over the edge. Robin took out cash but Beast Boy swiped his wallet instead. Robin and Starfire stepped past the Thorpighor. Robin tried to share his feelings with her but there was an enchanted glow all of a sudden. A unicorn was among the animals in the S.S. Risky Business's Legendary Petting Zoo. It took an immediate liking to Starfire and stepped on Robin as it walked up to her. It pranced with delight on him as she petted her. Starfire named her Sugarcone. Robin tried to get her to leave so he could continue professing his love to Starfire. He slapped Sugarcone's butt but she bucked him across the ship.
Beast Boy and Cyborg went to the I've Got the Need for Speedway and decided to try it out. Cyborg took the race car and Beast Boy chose the jet, both proclaiming they were the underdog looking for something to prove. Cyborg took the early lead, but Beast Boy rammed the rear of the car and took over the race. They side swiped each other but Cyborg suddenly vanished. The car was inexplicably levitating upside down above the jet. Cyborg snapped a photo of Beast Boy's expression and tagged him #LastPlace #TooSlow #NoFilter. Cyborg landed and sped off. Beast Boy got him on missile lock and fired. Cyborg popped the trunk and a goose and launched. It was hit by the missile and hit Beast Boy's windshield. Beast Boy had enough and rammed Cyborg. They side swiped each other repeatedly then both went really hard and set off an explosion. They both landed inches away from the finish line in only their cockpits then blew up again. Cyborg couldn't believe they weren't going to find out who was the underdog. After some back and forth, Beast Boy declared they both were. A banner and confetti popped up. They both triumphantly declared they were never going to win.
While the Titans relaxed at the pool, five walkers surfaced around the ship. Cyborg didn't believe they had enough manpower to stop them. Robin implored them to use the power of the T-O-M Cruise. Cyborg drove the car from the I've Got The Need For Speedway. He turned on cruise control, hopped out, and watched as it drove off the side of the ship into one of the walkers and exploded. The Vampire and Raven danced. He instructed her to spin, hold, flip, spin, and launch. She chucked him towards one of the alien walkers. He bared his fangs and bit the walker's mid-section. Electricity cackled and the entire walker lost its color and collapsed. Starfire rode Sugarcone. Even the alien walker was in awe of Sugarcone, then was blown up by its rainbow beam. Beast Boy rode the jet from the I've Got the Need for Speedway and pressed the "oblivion" button. Robin dropped down on a rope armed with a time bomb.
Beast Boy, however, could not navigate the jet and kept swinging Robin back and forth into two walkers. By the time Beast Boy could stop the momentum swinging the rope, the timer went off and blew up Robin and the two walkers. Robin had to be affixed with a neck brace, cast, and crutches but he was in good spirits about their victory. The Titans started referencing a bunch of movie titles then it began raining frogs.