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Straightman

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Real Identity: Captain Carl Finley
Affiliations:: U.S. Army, Special Forces, and Project Samson
Appearances (BTAC Comics): Red Son Rising Part 1, Red Son Rising Part 3, Secret Santa, Crack-Up! Part One, Crack-Up! Part Two, and Crack-Up! Part Three
Skills: Above Average Strength and Invulnerability

Carl Finley was born at Fort Ord, California to a military family. He was a young man with a bright future. Finley made Eagle Scout at age twelve. He attended a preparatory academy, he won a Heisman Trophy, and attended the United States Military Academy West Point. He graduated West Point with Honors. Finley signed up for the U.S. Army, made it to the rank of Captain, was recruited to Special Forces, and went on several tours of duty. Colonel Haslett led a U.S. Army Special Forces team in Gardez, Afghanistan but they were ambushed. While she called in for cover fire, she was clipped in the right shoulder. She ordered Captain Finley to leave her but he pretended it was too loud to hear her because of the gunfire. He took her over his shoulders and ran to a building. Finley visited her in the army hospital some time later and asked if she was well enough to begin his court martial. She joked he should be a comedian for the USO. Talking frankly, she thanked him for saving her life.

Finley admitted he wished he could have done more for her and all the troops that didn't make it. They were approached by Professor Hugo Strange. Strange overheard Finley and commented he was spoken like a true hero with all the sincerity and sadness of a warrior who desires to go beyond his limits in a changing world. He spoke of a need for powerful fighters in the civilian world in the form of ordinary men and women gifted with abilities. He believed they were the saviors of humankind. Haslett recalled hearing about an army shrink going around pushing some new hyperwarrior theories. Strange stated he worked in facts. Gretchen Gallway, his assistant, handed him a file. Strange stated he worked in facts and the facts stated she and Finley were excellent candidates for his program. Strange promised they would have their strength increased a hundred fold and become, in effect, invulnerable. Haslett did not believe Strange. Strange spoke of world where no soldier has to suffer or get left behind, a world with no war or crime.

Finley was intrigued and extended his hand to shake but realized he didn't catch his name. Strange chuckled and introduced himself as Professor Hugo Strange. He joined Project Samson, a government program aimed at creating a super-soldier. The chemical enhancements he received made him super strong and nearly indestructible. Gretchen Gallway thought he was easily the finest candidate--fearless, athletic, a will of steel, the kindest, and most gracious. Gallway developed feelings for him and it became hard for her to watch him endure the drug treatments. Many of the other candidates never made it. The final step in the program was the Psi-Ber Helmet, a brainwashing device he developed and considered the ultimate achievement in biocybernetics. The program candidates were lied to and told the helmet would increase their brain power, just as the drugs augmented their strength.

In reality, the helmet projected images and voices of a select group of generals into the soldiers' premotor cortices, making the generals their controllers, whatever commands they gave, the soldiers would be programmed to obey. The thought of Finley becoming a puppet weighed heavily on Gallway. The Joker heard of the procedure and intervened. Joker held the doctors at gunpoint and took over the operation, working on Finley's frontal lobes. The doctors were surprised by his acumen. Joker managed to substitute the generals' faces and voices with his into the Psi-Ber Helmet. Gallway decided to intervene but she was too late. Joker "liberated" the man and took him in as his completely subservient right hand man, Straightman. At some point, Joker planted a homing device in his skull and carried around the beacon. Once activated, Straightman would accurately home in on Joker.

While based on Amusement Mile, the Joker noticed someone on the Wacky Wheel ferris wheel and notified Straightman of the incursion. Joker joked he was curious why their visitor came in the dead of the night when it was so cold out. While doing a curl rep with a barbell, Straightman asked how cold it was. Joker was amused and poked the back of his head and he explained the visitor was packing heat. Straightman started bashing the base of the ferris wheel with his barbell. After the wheel fell onto the ground, Straightman lifted up one of the passenger cars. Todd shot him several times and it was as if he missed and Straightman was unhurt. He tossed the car and Todd went flying. Joker drove by in a bumper car and tossed a grenade at him. He grabbed the back of Straightman's collar and yanked him along as he drove out of Amusement Mile. Joker quipped it was time to say "Good night, Gracie." Straightman asserted that was his line. Joker was amused and laughed.

The Joker met with Penguin in his office at the Iceberg Lounge. Joker wanted to borrow a couple hundred thousand dollars to go out on the circuit with his goon Straightman. Penguin was suspicious and preferred to see how it played out. Joker summoned Straightman to explain the situation better. Mr. Wing burst into the office and fought Straightman. Straightman clocked Wing under the chin. The fight spilled outside and Wing was knocked out. Joker declared he and Straightman were a classic comedy duo. Red Hood retorted except as always, he was the only one laughing. Joker took offense to being heckled and implored him to step up to the mic. Red Hood darted Joker repeatedly then Straightman. He declared he was breaking up the act. With a running start, Red Hood delivered a jump kick that propelled Straightman onto the top of the iceberg in the center of the lounge. He then threw a grenade that dislodged the big chandelier. It crashed on top of Straightman.

Red Hood collected Joker and told Penguin to tell Batman he came. Straightman homed in on Joker and burst through the floor of the sewer lair Red Hood was using. He grabbed Red Hood by the face and slammed him down on the ground. Joker applauded his perfect timing and picked up a hand gun, intending to kill the Robin of the past and present. He noticed Robin was gone and got hit in the back of the head with a crowbar. Robin tossed it to Batman but it hardly hurt Straightman. Straightman smacked Batman and voiced disappointment after all the hype. Batman dodged his punch. Straightman decided to deliver the pay off rather than Joker and punched again. Batman dodged and the unstable wall gave way. Straightman was knocked out by huge debris and was carried off by the current with Joker and Red Hood. Joker screamed he told him never to ad-lib. Batgirl's two drones failed to locate any of them.

During the holidays, Joker and Straightman hid out at a Ha Ha Hide-Away club. Straightman read one of Joker's punchlines but didn't get it, "Your money or your life" and Joker tells them they're too late and mows them down with an AK-47. Joker was aghast he had to explain comedy but was already beside himself after he hacked Harley's computer only to learn he wasn't invited to a Christmas party. He shot the laptop. He noted even Arnold Wesker was invited. Straightman had no idea who that was. Joker suddenly got an idea and started laughing with glee. The Straightman stormed Arkham Asylum. He bashed a huge steel door off its frame and shrugged off bullets as he took out the security team. He made a beeline to a storage room containing weapons confiscated from costumed criminals. Straightman only stole the Scarface doll then left the asylum. Joker and Straightman crashed the party. After Harley screamed at Joker to leave, Joker claimed he only came bearing naught but goodwill and a present for their gift exchange.

Harley assumed the present was going to blow up. She paused and wished Straightman a Merry Christmas. Straightman wished her a Happy Hanukkah. Knute Brody, really Batman in disguise, claimed he was supposed to be at the Gotham Orphanage but went to the wrong address. Joker had him give out his gift. Knute naturally misread the tag and called out Roxy Rocket. Straightman shoved her aside. Joker tried to give his out himself but Knute agreed to help speed things up and threw out all the presents. Joker was knocked over in the chaos. After the party abruptly ended due to the police, Knute was clubbed on the head from behind by Straightman. Straightman then asked what to do with him. Joker "consulted" Scarface then ordered him to crush Knute's larynx and break both legs. Luckily, the police arrived. Joker and Straightmen fled the scene. Wesker returned home to find Scarface, Joker, and Straightman waiting for him. Scarface felt two-timed and called him pathetic then demanded he lose his sock puppet.

Straightman placed Scarface back with Wesker. Scarface admonished Wesker but was happy to learn Straightman spruced him up with lemon scented furniture polish. Scarface joked he might trade mooks with Joker. He led them to Santa Town, where the rest of the CX explosives were stored in the giant candy canes that adorned the big sign. After laying low for a week, the villains went to the 55th Street Subway Station to plant the explosives and set it to detonate on New Year's. Just as Joker was ready to leave with 5 minutes left, Straightman pointed out Batman and Robin arrived. Robin went to save Wesker from being run over by the holiday express lane while Batman disabled Joker's rail car. He narrowly avoided Straightman's punch then flipped him over the track right on time. He was plowed by the express line. At some point over the next year or so, Straightman eventually broke Joker out of Arkham. He wanted to announce his return on a grand scale. They occupied the Simon Trent Theater and killed the ventriloquists set to perform at a comedy event.

Straightman relived a part of his past in a dream and accidentally walked through a wall into the dressing room used by Joker. Joker joked he was not changing a word in the script. Straightman told him he was having another crazy dream. Joker instructed him to focus on their routine and powdered him. The audience was restrained to their seats and exposed to Joker Toxin in gas form. Joker posed as a ventriloquist and Straightman as the dummy and they performed. Joker noted he heard no applause then remembered the wristbands. He retorted they could have stomped their feet then asked if they were expecting something like The Music Man. He produced a tommy gun but Batman swung in and drop kicked him. He used Joker's acid squirting flower but Straightman did not flinch when it touched his arm. Batman cuffed Joker then tried to punch Straightman out in vain. Batman threw out a Batarang and let a giant crescent moon prop drop on him but Straightman caught it and threw it. Batman jumped out of the way but was grabbed and tossed out the stage door into a pile of trash in the alley outside.

Straightman grabbed his neck but from 100 yards, Deadshot fired a diamond-tipped tranquilizer into the carotid artery in his neck. Muscle and Katana attacked Straightman. Straightman promised to kill them all but he lost consciousness. Joker threw out smoke bombs and fled the theater in a Joker-themed motorcycle with Straightman stashed in the sidecar. Joker checked in on Straightman and was choked. Straightman eventually woke up from his dream and apologized. Joker readied a "booster shot" to cure his nightmares. Joker and Straightman stayed mobile and only stayed at a hideout for no more than a day. Batman and Colonel Hastell independently tracked the duo to the defunct Sunshine Hotel but they were already gone. Joker and Straightman invaded Camp Finger, a U.S. Army base, and confronted Professor Hugo Strange in his office after the latter drifted off. He was overcome by a feeling he had been to the base before.

Strange ordered Gretchen Gallway to call the military police. Joker noticed Gallway and informed them they already took care of them. Joker requested the "happy helmet" but Strange refused. Joker was crestfallen then ordered Straightman to break Gallway's neck on the count of three. Colonel Haslett intervened and ordered him to stand down. Straightman recognized her and released Gallway. Joker stated he was the one that gave orders then took a right cross from Haslett. Joker ordered him to kill everyone. Strange desperately asked Haslett to do something. Haslett ordered Straightman to snap out of it. Straightman couldn't think and ran through the wall into the city. Joker was aghast and shouted he worked solo better anyway. Three punks found Straightman asleep on a park bench and proceeded to rob him at knife point. He made quick work of them. Gallway believed she could use the Psi-Ber Helmet to purge the Joker's control from Straightman's brain but he was already disassociating from reality and becoming psychotic like the rest of the failed super soldier subjects.

In The East Side, three bewildered teenagers observed Carl Finley grilling rats in an alley. Finley remarked one day you're dining at The Ritz, the next day, you're dining on rats. Batman and Robin approached him. Straightman stated he was a solo act now. Batman pleaded with him to come with them. Robin pointed out he was barbecuing rats. Straightman joked that was because the pigeons flew away too fast. He told them to scram so he could work on new jokes. Batman put his hand on Straightman's shoulder and stated they just wanted to help. Straightman grabbed Batman by the neck and lifted him off the ground then threw him. Batman realized he was unhinged and more powerful than ever. Robin attacked with a jump kick. Batman knew he had to end the fight quick and remotely summoned the Batmobile through his belt. Straightman was able to stop the Batmobile in its tracks and lifted it up over his head. Robin got behind him, snagged his right leg with a line, and pulled. Straightman lost his balance and the car pinned him to ground. Batman rendered him unconscious with Strange's knockout serum.

At Camp Finger, Gallway attended to Finley. Batman, Robin, and Batgirl were on standby. Strange checked in on Finley. Finley became irate and reckoned he should snap Strange's neck. Gallway tried in vain to calm him down. Strange observed his mind was almost unsalvageable and only the helmet could save him. Haslett informed everyone Joker was breaching the south entrance. Finley suffered a seizure. Strange believed there was nothing they could do since he was in the first state of a bicameral breakdown and would devolve into utter schizophrenia without the helmet. He found it a shame they couldn't record it. Joker arrived and joked he admired his bedside manner then smacked Strange with a gun. He placed the helmet on Finley. Gallway pleaded in vain for Finley to be spared. Strange told her not to be an idiot. Joker advised her to listen to the professor. Batman kicked the door down. Joker grabbed Gallway and held her at gunpoint. Finley became enraged, grabbed Joker, and slammed him like a ragdoll. Haslett got him to stop by telling him "at ease." Harley remarked she was enjoying the show.

Task Force X no longer had a reason to eliminate Straightman and Amanda Waller pulled strings to ensure Professor Strange was blamed for the incident. The Psi-Ber Helmet was able to remove most of Joker's brainwashing from Finley's mind and he underwent therapy at an institution. A nurse brought Finely his pills and joked they were red and blue and hoped they didn't make him too "violet." Finley grabbed his collar and asked what was so funny. He apologized and cleaned up. Finley went to the window and stated he didn't need jokes and laughter, just peace and payback.